Which "The Princess Bride" Character Are You?

By: Steve Miller
Estimated Completion Time
7 min
Which "The Princess Bride" Character Are You?
Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

"The Princess Bride" is a story of true love and overcoming all obstacles to reach your highest aspirations. Take this quiz to find out which character you are in this sweet, silly, and inspiring tale.
Which phrase best describes your thoughts on love?
My desire is to live my life in service of my true love.
I will wait for my true love to arrive.
My love for my family is legendary.
Love is a concept created by corporations to sell merchandise.
Which statement sounds the most like something you might say?
Inconceivable.
You killed my father, prepare to die.
Farm boy, fetch me that pitcher?
As you wish.
What is your greatest strength?
My beauty
My skill and determination
My love
My brains

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What is your greatest weakness?
Alcohol
Waiting to be rescued
Over-analysis of the facts
My love
What is a talent you have that most people aren't aware of?
My knowledge of Australia.
I have built up an immunity to iocane powder.
Horse-riding.
Encouraging the talents of others.
If you had to climb "The Cliffs of Insanity", what would be your strategy?
I was the best at rope-climbing in gym class, no problems.
I really would rather not.
If it leads to my bigger goal, I'll do it.
Get someone strong to do the work for me.

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What is a "well-known fact" you most relate to?
Never get involved in a land war in Asia.
Thibault technique cancels out Capoferro, unless your enemy has studied Agrippa...which I have.
Women's roles in cinema have come a long way since the '80s.
Death cannot stop true love, all it can do it delay it for a while.
Who do you consider your greatest enemy?
Prince Humperdinck
The six-fingered man
Anyone standing in the way of me and my love
Stupidity, it's all around me.
What would you be willing to do for the one you love?
I would scale a thousand mountains to avenge them.
I would tumble down a mountain.
Oh, for myself, I would do anything.
I would do whatever my love wishes.

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What's your biggest concern about traveling through the Fire Swamp?
You'd have to be an idiot to travel through there.
Perhaps the R.O.U.S. (Rodents of Unusual Size)
The Lightning Sand
The Flame Spurt
What would be your version of "The Pit of Despair"?
Being chained away, never able to be with my true love again.
Having to watch my love die when I knew I could do something to stop it.
Never finding the one who killed my father.
Being surrounded by all these numbskulls is already the pit of despair.
Your true love lives, but you marry another. What's your reaction?
So what, marriage's only purpose is to add to your riches and influence.
I am disgraced by my actions.
I had to save his life. What a nightmare.
Boo. Boo.

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What is your ideal life/work balance?
I just want to run away with my love.
I do it all for my family. That is my priority.
Be sure to get your rest, they say that if you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything.
It's all work when your mind is as brilliant as mine.
What are you thoughts on torture?
Only a coward uses torture as a tool.
May those who torture others have that pain returned upon them tenfold.
If it helps to gain an advantage, great.
To be honest, for posterity, I'm not a fan of The Machine in The Pit of Despair.
What is the sound of ultimate suffering?
Maybe the sound of your voice, what an inconceivably stupid question.
I can attest that setting The Machine to 50 will produce such a sound.
A sound that turns my blood cold. My loved one is in pain.
The sound my heart made when the six-fingered man killed my father.

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What miracle would you ask from Miracle Max?
I seem to have stopped living, could you help, good chap?
A cloak of invisibility would be nice to escape. Oh wait, wrong fantasy universe.
My friend is dead, can you help?
Can I get a potion for a built-up immunity to iocane powder?
How much can you afford to pay for a miracle?
Miracles? I wasn't born yesterday.
All I have is 65, but it's a noble cause.
I'd give all the jewels of the kingdom.
I'd pay any price to be able to come back to my love.
What's so important? What have you got that's worth living for?
The chance to make a better life with loved ones.
The opportunity to fight against an injustice.
True love.
There's a business opportunity I need to take advantage of.

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Would you consider yourself a quick healer?
I'm able to fight through the pain.
My body heals quickly but I'm not sure if my heart will ever heal.
I can recover from anything except, evidently, iocane powder.
Sure, I've only been mostly dead all day.
What would be your wedding vows to your true love?
Will you promise to do everything I tell you to do?
Forever and always, as you wish. Did he just say mahwahge?
My heart is yours, from the moment our eyes met until the end of time.
I promise to protect you always.
What is your strategy for storming the stronghold?
The legend of The Dread Pirate Roberts and some fire should do the trick.
Instill doubt and fear on the inside.
Threatening to remove the guards arms usually does the trick.
Let others do the work and clean up the treasure.

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How would you react if your dreams were so close, but seemed to be slipping away?
I'd berate those around me for their stupidity.
Throw myself wildly at a door and shout for help.
I have faith that things will work out well.
I'll just lay here, I believe the solution will come to me.
What would you do if you found yourself in a truly hopeless situation?
I will kill myself once I get back to the honeymoon suite.
As long as there is blood coursing through my veins, there is still hope.
Well, I've already died, can't get much more hopeless than that. But, here I am.
I'll think my way out of it.
What are your thoughts on Prince Humperdinck?
He is the scoundrel that housed the six-fingered man.
I never said, "I do" to that horrible man.
He owes me money.
People will say, "What is that thing?"

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Where would you go on your honeymoon?
Haven't you been following? I died an hour ago.
We will go wherever my true love desires.
It doesn't matter, as long as I'm with my love.
No honeymoon for me. It is time to go home to my family with the good news.
What is the moral of the story of "The Princess Bride"?
True love always triumphs, even over death.
Don't give up, miracles happen when you least expect them.
If you stay focused on your goal, an opportunity will present itself.
Never challenge a pirate to a drinking challenge.
Who is the true hero of "The Princess Bride"?
I have no idea.
Domingo Montoya
Westley
True Love

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Where will you be in five years?
On a farm with my farm boy, starting a family.
Now that the adventure is over, I will teach the next generation the art of swordplay.
I will be with my true love, continuing to abide by, "as you wish".
I'm dead, remember? Inconceivable.
Will there ever be a "The Princess Bride 2"?
Only if I have been killed and my son, Domingo Montoya II, avenges my death.
If there is, I would hope the princess does the saving in the modern retelling.
Why would I care?
You can't redo a classic, but someone will try anyways.
Who is your favorite character in "The Princess Bride"?
Vizzini stole the show.
The hero of the story, Westley, of course.
I'm pretty partial to Buttercup.
The gentle giant, Fezzik, was my favorite.

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You Got: