Which Steak Are You?

By: Ian Fortey
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
Which Steak Are You?
Image: ansonmiao/E+/GettyImages

About This Quiz

In the span of human history, we have created an unfathomable number of menu choices to enjoy.  We have everything from lasagna to roadkill stew, delicious tacos and kind of weird eggplants. A pack of ramen noodles you can cook in two minutes and secret recipe sauces that need to simmer for a whole day. And somehow, with the millions and millions of delectable choices to tempt your palate, there's nothing quite like a steak.

It may seem like just a slab of meat to the uninitiated, but you know better. Is it New York Strip? Sirloin? T-Bone? Are you grilling it or searing it in a pan then finishing in the oven? Basted with butter and herbs or just a dash of salt and pepper? Would you dare to eat it well done with ketchup? Or blue rare with no seasoning at all? 

Why is steak so appealing? Because it's us! Not in the "Soylent Green is people" creepy sense of the word. But it's so diverse. It seems simple, yet it can be complex. It has so many facets and approaches to understanding it. It can be straightforward and no-nonsense or elegant and refined. It can represent a utilitarian brutality or a subtle grace.  Also, it goes super well with potatoes. 

Never doubt that you too are as complex as a steak. But what steak could you be? Answer these questions, and we'll get to the meat of who you are. Take the quiz and let's get sizzling!

What's the best way to spend a hot summer day?
On vacation somewhere exotic
On a patio sipping a drink
At the beach
Inside with the A/C
What level of spice do you like in your food?
Subtle is good.
A little goes a long way.
I can handle some hot sauce.
Burn my face off
No one's judging you here - what's honestly the best way to cook a steak?
Medium rare
Rare
Medium well
Well done

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What kind of seasoning goes with the perfect steak?
Butter and herbs
Salt and pepper
A flavorful marinade
Steak sauce
What's the best side to go with a steak?
Seasonal vegetables
Baked potato
Mashed potatoes
Fries
What's the worst culinary crime you could commit when cooking a steak?
Don't let it rest before cutting
Eat it with ketchup
No seasoning
Burnt to a crisp

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What's the best method for cooking a steak?
Seared then finished in the oven
Grill
Whatever gets it to me the fastest
Pan fry
What's your role when you have a big barbecue?
Party host
No role, I just hang out.
The Grillmaster
Designated eater
If you were to grill a steak, how would you get it done?
Precise temperature control and good seasoning
Need a good marinade
Charcoal only
Char it and chew it

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If you order a steak at a restaurant and it comes to you undercooked, how do you respond?
Demand a new steak
See if the cook could fix it
No such thing as undercooked
Just eat it anyway
What drink goes best with a steak?
Merlot
Wine, beer, water - doesn't matter.
Beer
Can of Coke
When you're picking up steak from a butcher, do you get the fat removed?
Good marbling makes the steak.
Some fat makes it cook better, right?
Trim it after it's cooked
Of course, fat is bad for you.

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You're having a night in with Netflix, what kind of movie are you going to watch?
Whatever has some good reviews.
Some kind of blockbuster
Action!
Comedy!
Ignoring steaks for a moment, what other kind of beef do you really enjoy?
Ribeye Roast
Brisket
A juicy burger
Meatloaf
If beef wasn't an option at all, what kind of meat would you want at a BBQ?
Chicken breast
Pork chops
Sausage
Hot dogs

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You need to balance your meal with vegetables. What veggie is the best to cook on the grill?
Portabello mushrooms
Asparagus
Corn
Whatever's handy.
How would you handle going to a dinner only to discover the menu is vegan?
That's fine.
Would have been nice to know ahead of time, but OK.
I'm leaving.
Can I load up on carbs? I'll be fine.
Have you ever seen one of those giant, steak-eating challenges? How big of a steak could you put away?
I wouldn't even try.
I will try and fail to eat a 72 oz steak.
I will try and succeed to eat a 72 oz steak.
I'm sure I could handle a pound. Maybe.

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How can you tell a cut of meat at the store is going to be good?
It's more expensive.
I ask the butcher.
It looks thick and juicy.
It's what's on sale.
Say you had to eat your steak with some kind of sauce. What's the best kind to go on it?
Bearnaise
Chimichurri sauce
A-1
Ketchup
Anyone into barbecue knows there's no such thing as "just" barbecue. What kind of barbecue is best?
Kansas City Style
Korean BBQ
Texas Style
Memphis Style

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If you could go on vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Paris
New York City
Australia
Maybe I'd see America.
What fast food place makes the best use of steak?
Subway Steak Sandwich
McDonald's Chicken Fajitas
Taco Bell Steak Soft Taco
Have I ever had fast food steaks?
What touristy thing would you do when visiting a new city?
Check out the museums
The best restaurant in town
Maybe a sporting event
Just tour the city

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If you could have any one of these vehicles, which one would you choose?
Ferrari
Tesla
Escalade
A hybrid
Where do you do most of your shopping?
All depends on what I need
Amazon
Target
WalMart
Which famous TV chef would you love to have cook you a meal?
Martha Stewart
Gordon Ramsay
Bobby Flay
Guy Fieri

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What's the best season of the year?
Autumn
Spring
Summer
Winter
Which Marvel hero do you most relate to?
Iron Man
Captain America
The Hulk
Spider-Man
You know what goes well with beef? Cheese! What's your favorite kind of cheese?
Brie
Swiss
Goat cheese
American

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You Got: