For too long, you have toiled through the desert of indecision. Which bike should I own? You have voraciously looked through motorcycle magazines, you have walked up and down the motorcycle store, kicking tires, and scratching your head. You have been stressed. But NOW, the answer is going to be revealed to you. We’re going to tell you what kind of bike you should own.

We know that you’re filled with doubt. How could we have the magic power to determine what bike is best for you? Listen, we just know. We’re professionals. Motorcycles come in many different styles, and all to impart a different feel or intent. They all have their own feel, je ne sais quoi, and unique history. Don’t you see how bikes have personalities, just as you do? Finding the right fit is important. This is the match.com of motorcycles. We’re going to hook you up.

Are you best suited to a cruiser, sport, touring, standard, dual-purpose, or dirt bike? First, we must be able to see if you, yourself, are a cruiser, sport, or touring person. Dude, we’re going to be honest with you if you’re just a dirt bike. There’s no shame in that.

So here we go, after a few simple questions, the quest will finally come to an end. You can pop over to Craigslist and buy that Confederate B120 Wraith. Heck, you should probably just do that anyway.