Which British Pop Band Would You Join to Crack America?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
3 min
Which British Pop Band Would You Join to Crack America?
Image: Wiki Commons by Eva Rinaldi / Kristina Velickovic / DigitalVision Vectors / Getty Images

About This Quiz

There are a number of very popular British bands that tried and tried but never succeeded in breaking into the American market, despite an obviously US-friendly sound and often with all the might of huge music studios behind them. Failures in this area include Take That, Oasis, and Dizzee Rascal. Even bands like The Kinks were fairly successful in the US but were not as fully appreciated in their time as they probably should have been.

On the other side of the scale, we find titanic juggernauts like The Rolling Stones, The Beatles, The Spice Girls, and more recently, the absolutely ubiquitous pop stylings of boy-band One Direction. Some of them did it organically, while others benefited from the (mostly) benevolent mentorship of Simon Cowell and the groundswell of a TV show launch.

As the variety of bands we've namechecked shows, there's no right genre or other artistic choice that guarantees that a British band will crack the American market. It's all about timing, marketing and guts. America is the biggest English-speaking market in the world, and only bands with serious staying power tend to make it. 

Which British band would be the most suitable vehicle for your talents as you storm the US from across the pond? Take this quiz and we’ll find out!

Question 1
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How edgy is your sound?
Fairly
More than you might realize
Not at all
Only a smidge

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Question 2
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What is the maximum number of people you can cooperate with?
None, honestly
Three
Four
Two

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Question 3
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Would you be OK with being "manufactured"?
Nope
Only secretly
I love it!
I can handle it.

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Question 4
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Is your music at all subversive?
Somewhat
Very
LOL, no
Not much

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Question 5
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What sort of instrument can you play?
All of them
Guitar and piano
I can barely sing.
I play harmonica.

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Question 6
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When do you think was the best period in musical history, between 1960 and now?
70's
60's
Now
90's

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Question 7
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How would you define your fashion style?
Disco chic
Hippie chic
Sleek and chic
Girl power

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Question 8
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Why would you break up with a bandmate?
They passed away.
They married unwisely.
I feel like it.
They're a diva.

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Question 9
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Be honest: how wholesome an example will you set?
Not at all!
Not very
Less than people would like
More than you'd think

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Question 10
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What is the message of your music?
Screw the establishment!
Peace on earth!
Dating as a teen is a good idea!
Being a girl is cool!

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Question 11
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What fussy thing will you demand in your contract riders?
I can't say in public.
Just a few cold drinks for us!
Playstation
Foot spa

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Question 12
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How much autotune will your music involve?
None, and you'll be able to tell
None, but we sing in tune
All of it
A little

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Question 13
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How long are you willing to spend paying your dues?
All the years I must!
A few years
No time at all
A year

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Question 14
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How important is longevity of career to you?
I want to die on stage at 86.
Whether I last or burn brightly and briefly, I just want to play music.
I know I am a flash in the pan.
I want to peak early then come back later.

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Question 15
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Do you anticipate going solo after you quit the band?
I will never quit the band.
Sure
No, I would fail.
Maybe

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Question 16
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Who would consider you a heartthrob?
Housewives
Twenty-something women
Teenagers
Everyone

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Question 17
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How will moms and dads feel about their kids loving your music?
They literally cry about it.
They dislike it.
They love it!
They don't get it.

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Question 18
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Could you cope with a huge overnight leap from obscurity to fame?
Nope
Probably not
Sure!
Somewhat

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Question 19
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What instrument will dominate the majority of your songs?
Electric guitar
Acoustic guitar
I don't actually know!
Synth

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Question 20
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Which musical genre is definitely NOT your safe space?
Classical
I do it all!
Hip-hop
Rock

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Question 21
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Why will your haters hate you?
I'm too awesome for them.
I'm all about peace and love.
I'm successful far beyond my talent.
I'm pushy and loud.

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Question 22
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How much hair dye is simply too much?
Any at all, unless you're greying
Any at all, ever
Some dye is fun!
I want more dye than hair on my head!

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Question 23
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Would you consider yourself to be cool?
Obviously, yes
I don't care, which is why I am.
I hope so!
Sure

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Question 24
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If you could have one wish, what would it be?
To play music forever
World peace
Money
Fame

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Question 25
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How many number ones is enough?
8
17
Any
3

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Question 26
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After making a fortune there, would you consider living in the USA?
Sure!
Yes, but I will regret it
If the opportunity arises
No

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Question 27
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What will you find most surprising about your American success?
Nothing
It happened really fast.
I'm just not that good!
It didn't last.

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Question 28
Wiki Commons by Mark Kent
With which artist today will you pick a silly feud?
None of them
Ed Sheeran, because I'd win
Jay-Z, because he's better than me
Taylor Swift, because she does what I do but bigger

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Question 29
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How will you end your career?
Death
I won't. I am immortal.
My audience will age into something else.
I'll throw it away for no good reason.

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Question 30
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How would someone know it was your music?
You can't miss my gravelly voice!
Nobody else's guitar gently weeps like mine.
They wouldn't. It's incredibly generic.
It's Cockney and shouty and fun!

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