Which Australian Predator Matches Your Dark Side?

Ian Fortey

6 Min Quiz

Image: Georg Karbus Photography / Cultura / Getty Images

About This Quiz

Australia has a reputation for being a seriously dangerous and terrifying place. It's full of spiders and snakes that are as deadly as anything you'll find anywhere on Earth, not to mention plagues of mice, scorching hot summers, floods, dingoes and even a plant called the Gympie Gympie that will sting you and cause pain for months. Months! Yeah, Australia can be a pretty inhospitable place. It's perfect for your dark side.

Most of us don't want to admit it, but of course, we all have a dark side. There's a part of us that is just a little bit sinister sometimes, a little bit malevolent when we get pushed. It's crafty and wicked and probably not super fun at parties. But it's in there. And it's natural. Want proof? Answer a few questions about yourself, and we'll distill your dark side right down into the most applicable and appropriate comparison of all - a deadly Australian predator.

Are you more venomous spider or ravenous hunter? Are you quiet and stealthy and loud and brash? Dig into the quiz and answer as honestly as you can and before you know it we'll match your dark side up with one of Australian's most dangerous predators. Take the quiz and see!

Your phone dies right in the middle of an important conversation. How do you react?

Resist the urge to throw the phone

Vow to never buy this brand of phone again
Rage to the heavens!

Make haste to the nearest charger!

You've been expecting a package in the mail. Your neighbor tells you they saw someone steal it off the porch this afternoon. How do you deal with that?

I will hunt this person down.

What can I do?
There will be loud cursing.

The police will hear of this! Justice will be mine!

You come out of work and see a big scratch down the side of your car in the parking lot. Now what?

Try to match paint samples to nearby cars.

Seethe.
It's time for foul language.

Go instead, see if there are security cameras.

Your significant other hands you a gift. It's your anniversary, and you forgot. How do you deal with this?

Tell them you left your gift elsewhere, then panic shop.

Own up to my mistake.
Create an elaborate excuse for why I have nothing.

Tell them my gift is a relaxing getaway I have planned for a different day.

What do you do if you were watching a Netflix show with someone and they watch a couple of episodes without you?

Confront them about why this annoys me.

Deal with it in quiet disappointment.
Cancel Netflix, we're done here.

Finish the show on my own.

You're planning to order dinner and ask everyone else what they want. They say "anything is fine." What do you do?

Demand a more clear answer.

Order the most boring thing I can think of.
Order something they don't like, just to prove a point.

I just order what I want.

You're heading down the street on a cold day and see someone slip on some ice. How do you respond?

I might snort a quiet laugh.

Not going to be proud of my laugh, but it'll still probably happen.
I laugh loudly.

I'm uploading this to Youtube.

You have about 500 channels on your TV and have been channel surfing for 15 minutes because nothing is on. How is this even possible?

I'm just not in the mood for any of these shows.

I wanted one specific show and I can't find it.
TV sucks.

I'm just killing time until what I want to watch comes on.

A friend is in a jam and asks you if they can borrow a sizable chunk of money. What will you do?

I'm willing to risk some money for a friend.

I can part with a little bit of money, but not a lot.
Sorry, I don't mix business and friendship.

Sure. But there's interest.

Someone at work went into the fridge and ate the lunch you brought. What's your next move?

I'll be bringing hidden cameras to work.

A passive-aggressive note
I will now eat someone else's lunch.

Bring a sabotaged lunch full of something awful as a trap tomorrow.

You've been driving on the highway for hours and finally spot a gas station where you can use the restroom. You get in there and it's absolutely disgusting. Now what?

Outside on the wall, I guess.

I'm going to build a toilet paper nest and hate every second I spend in here.
I'm literally going on the floor.

I'm going to tear this place apart on Yelp.

It's the height of summer and your A/C dies. How do you deal with it?

Call someone to complain and or/fix the problem

I'm migrating somewhere cool.
Smash this junky A/C to pieces

Guess I'm getting a new air conditioner.

You find $20 on the ground, but just as you pick it up, someone says it's theirs. How do you respond?

Laugh at the weakness of their obvious lie

Hand it over with a mistrustful glare
Finders keepers, buddy

Ask for proof

You have a big family gathering and someone starts questioning your life choices. Again. Now what?

Go find something better to do

Zone out
Get loud and get defensive

Redirect to someone else

Say you were in a really bad way and you needed to steal just to survive. Would you?

You gotta do what you gotta do.

Just enough to live, if I had to.
Does this include things like TVs?

Most definitely

How would you respond if a total stranger challenged you to a fight on the street?

I'm ready to defend myself.

Back down
It's on like Donkey Kong!

I can talk my way out of this foolishness.

Have you ever thought about how you would defend yourself if someone tried to attack you?

Punching, biting, scratching, I'll do whatever I need to do.

I have some self-defense tools.
I'm throwing punches like Muhammad Ali.

I have thought about this and I have several plans.

It's three o'clock in the morning and you hear someone break into your house. What do you do?

Grab a weapon then call for help

Hide
Make them regret their decision

Call the police

How easily do you fly off the handle when you're angry?

If you push, I push back.

It's a slow burn with me.
I have a really short fuse.

I don't fly off the handle, I just get even.

If you're out for a drive and you hear a siren behind you, what's your initial reaction?

I was barely speeding, this isn't fair!

This has to be for someone else.
Again?

Am I going to be late now?

Your boss calls you into the office to let you know that, because of cutbacks, you're being let go. How do you react?

Laugh and let him know what I think of this job.

Cold, angry disbelief
Oh, I can think of a few words I'll say.

I'm plotting my revenge.

If you were going on vacation and the airline lost your luggage, what would you do?

Demand an explanation and a solution

Never use that airline again, for starters
Make a scene. A big, loud scene.

File complaints with everyone and anyone

Suppose you discovered that someone you're living with has used your toothbrush. What now?

I'm going to have to take some of their stuff now.

They can keep it.
This is going to require a loud lesson in respect.

In the toilet it goes.

The same telemarketer has called you ten times in one day. What happens on call number 11?

I'm going to answer and be the biggest jerk I can be.

Dude is getting blocked.
Time to see if I can make a stranger cry over the phone.

I need to speak to a supervisor.

People are trying to start some drama on social media that doesn't even have anything to do with you. How do you respond?

Some kind of snarky comment ought to do.

Log out
Flame war!

Go to the source and tell someone off.

What's your typical reaction to stubbing your toe?

Growling

Wincing
So much swearing

Hissing

Whether or not you're a sports fan if you were going to watch a sport, what would it be?

Football

Soccer
Boxing

Hockey

You ordered a pizza and it showed up with the wrong toppings. What happens now?

Demand a refund but see if I can keep the wrong pizza anyway.

Eat this mystery pizza.
Grab the delivery driver before he leaves and make him take it back.

Call the restaurant and get them to fix it.

Has your anger ever gotten so out of control that has actually concerned you?

Once or twice

Not often
It's something I struggle with.

I am always in control.

What makes you really happy in life?

Just going out and having fun

Being left alone
Whatever's exciting

Doing my own thing

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