What Kind of Afterlife Are You Destined For?

RELIGION

Zoe Samuel

6 Min Quiz

Image: Carol Yepes/Moment/Getty Images

About This Quiz

When you die, you may end up in an afterlife. In most cultures, that means a Heaven or a Hell. In other cultures, when you die you get reincarnated, usually as some kind of animal, and hopefully as an animal that lives a good life. Depending on the culture, what the best form to be reincarnated as can get pretty contentious.

Heaven is a pretty loaded idea as well. The Neo-Aristotelians believed that Heaven was simply a re-conjoining of the soul with The Prime Mover. While Christianity and Islam have very clearly defined ideas of Heaven, other monotheistic religions leave the afterlife deliberately vague. Other cultures are more specific, with stories of castles in the clouds full of the gods, or the halls of Valhalla.

Then there is Hell. In Chinese mythology alone, there are 12,800 Hells. That a lot of Hells. All things being equal, since the Chinese Hells outnumber nearly all other Hells, it's very likely if one is headed to Hell, one had better speak Mandarin. There is The Mountain of Knives Hell, The Cauldron of Torture Hell, and our favorite Hell, Avīci, which is where the worst sinners go to spend the most time enduring the worst things.

There is the idea of a personal Hell, of course. Jean-Paul Sartre's No Exit posits that Hell can simply be the presence of people who really annoy you. Teenagers argue that Hell is when their parents come to pick them up from the prom and call them by their nickname in front of all their friends.

We, however, have worked very closely with people who have the inside line on which afterlife you are destined for, and we've come up with a way to determine where you are headed. We're sure it's someplace good, or at least really entertaining!

How do you practice your religion?

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What is the nature of right and wrong?

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How much time to you spend giving to charity?

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What is the most valuable thing you stole from someone?

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How many times did you have to take your driver's test?

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Do you believe in an afterlife?

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How kind are you to those less fortunate?

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How religiously conservative are you?

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How forgiving are you?

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How strongly do you feel about the idea of objective reality?

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Do you play fair at work?

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How hard do you work at your profession?

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How fairly do you feel life has treated you?

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What best sums up your personal philosophy?

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Are you at peace with the idea of death and dying?

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Who would you like to see in the afterlife?

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What plans have you made for your funeral?

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What religion, other than your own, do you think has the most appealing take on the afterlife?

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How much time do you spend taking care of your elders?

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Do you give up your seat when an old person is left standing?

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How respectful are you when you travel to foreign lands?

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How often do you keep your word?

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Have you ever cheated on a romantic partner?

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Have you ever done something selfish that resulted in the death of another person?

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Have you tried to make amends for the others you wronged?

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How hard do you try to be generous with others when things are going your way?

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Have you found all five types of love (parents, extended family, lover, friends, children) yet?

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How close are you to "getting" what life is all about?

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How many of your friends would make a personal recommendation for you, as a good human being?

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Are you generous with others when things aren't going all that well for you personally?

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