I'm not even supposed to be here today: Take the Clerks quiz!

By: Maria Trimarchi
Image: View Askew Productions

About This Quiz

Very loosely based on Dante Alighieri's "The Divine Comedy," Kevin Smith's cult classic "Clerks" takes Dante Hicks -- and us -- on a day trip through the nine circles of hell: Limbo, Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Wrath (Anger), Heresy, Violence, Fraud and Treachery. How much do you remember about Dante's day at the convenience store?

Where does Randal rent his videos?

Although he works at a video store, Randal rents his videos at Big Choice Video.

What's the name of the video store Randal clerks at?

Randal works at the video store next to the Quick Stop, RST Video.

Why does Dante make the "I assure you; we're open" sign for the Quick Stop?

The "I assure you; we're open" sign was needed because someone jammed gum in the window shutter locks. Buncha savages in this town.

Which character did Kevin Smith originally plan to cast himself as?

Kevin Smith based the character of Dante on himself, and Randal on his friend Bryan Johnson (who worked, for real, at RST Video). But he was originally going to cast himself, not Jeff Anderson, as Randal.

What time do the lights go out in the bathroom every night at the Quick Stop?

The lights go out at 5:14 p.m. in the Quick Stop bathroom.

What brand of gum does the riot-inciting gum representative work for?

The gum rep who stops by the Quick Stop works for the Chewlies gum brand.

Kevin Smith's mother makes a cameo as which character?

Grace Smith, Kevin Smith's mother, makes an appearance as the "Milk Maid" customer at the Quick Stop.

What part of Russia is Silent Bob's cousin Olaf from?

Silent Bob's cousin Olaf is from Moscow. Berzerker!

After he's called in to work on his day off, Dante finds out his boss is where?

Dante finds out he won't be leaving early, as his boss is in Vermont.

Which character does Walter Flanagan not play?

Walt Flanagan plays all of these characters except for William Black. Scott Mosier plays Willam "Snowball" Black.

What does Dante's girlfriend, Veronica, bring him for lunch?

Veronica brings Dante lasagna for lunch.

What is high school all about?

High school, Dante tells Caitlin, is about algebra, bad lunch and infidelity.

How old is Dante Hicks?

Dante is 22 years old. He lives with his parents, in Leonardo, New Jersey.

Who dies while doing laps at the YMCA pool?

Julie Dwyer dies from an embolism while doing laps in the YMCA pool.

What'll be the social event of the season?

Randal doesn't want to miss Julie Dwyer's funeral, as he predicts it'll be the social event of the season.

According to Dante, why did "Empire Strikes Back" have a better ending than "Return of the Jedi"?

According to Dante, "Empire" had the better ending because it ends on a down note, while "all 'Jedi' had was a bunch of Muppets."

What color is the ball used in the hockey game?

An orange ball is used in the game. One orange ball.

What kind of car does Dante drive?

Dante drives a 1976 Buick Century.

What brand of fruit pies does the Quick Stop sell?

While the fruit pies may look like they're Hostess, we assure you at the Quick Stop it's Dave's fruit pies on the shelves.

Wynarski's got no more time to wait around for Randal. What's his customer number at RST Video?

The number's 812, Wynarski. (Oh, and he wanted to get a movie, too.)

What does Wynarski accidentally leave behind at the Quick Stop?

Wynarski accidentally leaves his keys on the counter at the Quick Stop.

What's the Quick Stop cat's name?

Although Randal jokes the cat's name is "Annoying Customer," the cat's real name is Lenin's Tomb.

Who is credited as the Cat Wrangler?

Among other roles, Vincent Pereira is given special thanks for being the Cat Wrangler.

Who is Caitlin Bree's fiance, according to the announcement her mother put in the paper?

Although everyone confuses it, Sang is a design major, not a drum major.

What is Dante fined for doing?

While it was technically Randal who was working at the time, Dante is fined for selling cigarettes to a minor.

How does Randal make his exit from the Quick Stop?

There goes Randal ... he's a Berzerker! Randal wrangles (or as some fans would say, does "The Randal Strut") out of the convenience store.

What is Dante's destiny in the film's original ending?

In the original version, Dante is shot dead by a robber after he closes the Quick Stop for the night.

Which Richard Linklater movie does Kevin Smith credit for inspiring him to become a filmmaker?

Smith was inspired to become a filmmaker after watching Richard Linklater's "Slacker," back in 1991.

Who in the cast and crew worked at the convenience store where the film was shot?

Creator Kevin Smith worked at the Quick Stop at 58 Leonard Ave. in Leonardo, New Jersey, which is the convenience store that doubled as Quick Stop in the movie.

How did Kevin Smith finance "Clerks"?

Along with maxing out about 10 or so credit cards, Smith used a family donation, his paychecks from the convenience store, and profit from the sale of his comic book collection to gather the $27,575 film budget.

What was the original MPAA classification?

Because of language, "Clerks" was originally classified by the MPAA as an NC-17 movie.

What film school did Kevin Smith attend and drop out of before making "Clerks"?

Kevin Smith attended but dropped out of the Vancouver Film School before making "Clerks."

Who does Kevin Smith thank for leading the way?

Hal Hartley, Jim Jarmusch, Spike Lee, and Richard Linklater are all on Smith's list of thank yous.

Which two actors were married after meeting on the set of "Clerks"?

Jeff Anderson (Randal) and Lisa Spoonhauer (Caitlin Bree) were married, from 1998 to 1999, after meeting on the set of Clerks.

What candy bar is the "K" from the "Clerks" logo from?

The "K" in the logo is from a Clark Bar. All told: the "C" is from "Cosmopolitan" magazine; the "L" is from "LIFE"; the "E" comes from "Rolling Stone"; the "R" is from Ruffles potato chips; and, the "S" is from Goobers candy.

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