If Your Dog Had a Job, What Would They Do for a Living?

ANIMALS

Emily Maggrett

6 Min Quiz

Image: Olaser/E+/Getty Images

About This Quiz

Dogs are great! But have you ever thought they'd be even better if they actually worked for a living? While some woofers are employed as watchdogs, hunters, support animals and racing hounds, others do nothing all day but bark, sniff random bushes at the dog park and gnaw on gross old bones. 

Imagine what would happen if your dog did have to be gainfully employed. Perhaps he'd be a high-powered business executive. Or maybe he's more of a "humble small-town hardware store owner" type, or would be rad at writing lurid mysteries. We're curious about your dog's career path, so we decided to create a quiz that would answer the eternal question of which job your pooch would excel at.

Through queries about your dog's appearance and demeanor, "Lady and the Tramp" opinions, professional qualifications and decision-making ability, we're hoping to find out the true nature of your dog's skill set. However, in today's marketplace, soft skills are critical to dog workers' success, so we're also asking about your dog's self-confidence, communication skills and facility at winning people over. So, are you ready to find out whether your pup is fit to be top dog? Distract him with some Milk-Bones so you can take this quiz!

If your dog were a character from "The Office," who would she be?

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Would you say that your dog is more handsome, cute or dashing?

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Can your dog catch rats or does he think of them as pets?

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You're having a date over for a candlelit dinner. How does your dog ruin it?

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Like Veronica Mars, is your dog an investigator? Does he like to check out garbage, squirrel nests and other mysteries?

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What's your dog's favorite workout jam?

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Imagine your dog is getting married. What would the wedding's theme be?

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Does your dog son or daughter look like you?

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If you could only save one individual — either your dog or your worst enemy at work — who would you choose?

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Does your dog bark at strangers or lick their hands?

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If your dog had a human name, what would it be?

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Be honest: Does your dog have any leadership potential?

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Is your dog an intellectual?

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If your dog were starring in the film "Black Swan," would he be the Black Swan or the White Swan?

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After work, how do you like to kick back with your pooch?

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Let's say your dog could perform cool stunts. Which stunt would your dog be likely to impress you with?

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When your dog looks at you, what do you see in her eyes?

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What's your woofer's favorite position to sleep in?

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If your dog took a job in the corporate world, would he be one of those people who do nothing all day but go to meetings or one of those nerds who do all the work?

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Let's say your dog is starring in the classic film noir "Casablanca." Which role would he play?

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Does your dog ever go on patrols? Even when you've specifically asked him not to?

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In your dog's opinion, should Tramp from "Lady and the Tramp" have ended up with Lady or Peg?

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Does your dog have high self-esteem, low self-esteem or healthy self-esteem?

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How does your dog behave around children?

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The Canadian TV show "The Littlest Hobo" was about a homeless German Shepherd who solved tough problems. Is your dog like him, or is he more like Paris Hilton's purse dog?

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Is your dog a lazy guy, or is he a very good boy?

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Bosses sometimes have to make hard decisions, as well as take flak from their superiors and their underlings. Would your dog be able to handle the pressure?

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Is your dog a narc?

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In the "Air Bud" movies, golden retrievers amaze their owners by playing basketball, soccer and other sports. Is your dog similarly athletic, or is he just some "regular dog"?

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Here's the most important question of all: would YOU hire your dog?

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