How Handsome Are You?

Zoe Samuel

Image: Delmaine Donson/E+/Getty Images

About This Quiz

Beautiful men, as the sitcom "30 Rock" shows us, are put in a bubble where people assume they are smart, have good motives, and are good at things, even when they're not. True beauty is found within, it's true - but society does truly enjoy rewarding the kind of beauty that is found on the outside.

Fortunately, beauty is a very subjective standard that adjusts with time. Men are expected to be more or less bulky and brawny; more or less hirsute or hairless; a little finer-featured or more strongly-featured. It's a matter of cultural preference what's in style, and it's also a matter of personal taste. Some people prefer tattoos; others hate them. Some people adore a tall and lanky man while others love a stocky and short one. Some people adore a good head of hair and others think baldness is super sexy. That means that no matter what kind of man you are, there's a woman or a man out there who thinks you are beautiful - and you can work with that!

Handsomeness, of course, is a particular kind of beauty that usually stays in style, and that people can agree is pretty even if they aren't personally into it. It's characterized by a set of criteria that not all men can meet, but that any man who does meet will benefit from almost irrespective of the culture. That's the kind of beauty we're here to look into - so if you don't have it, no biggie, because you probably have one of the other kinds. If you do, though, it's time to make that official!

Have you ever caused a car crash with your looks?

Have you ever been scouted by a modeling or acting agency?

Were you ever cast as the lead in the school play?

Do people sometimes think you're flirting when you're just being nice?

Did you find yourself able to talk your way out of anything?

Do you feel the need to be funny?

What percentage of the people you ask out say yes?

Did you ever honestly feel like your looks were a burden?

How often do you work out?

Do looks matter?

Who would play you in a movie?

Have you ever been paid money, in any way, for how you look?

Do you get solicited for sex by people you don't know?

Do you find sometimes people you date get really jealous of all the attention you get?

What rating do people typically give you?

If you jiggle your abs for a moment then take your hand away, how long before they stop jiggling?

Did you have braces?

Did you come from a family that could afford good food and medical care growing up?

Did you ever discover years after the fact that something you thought you did well (e.g. cook a meal, give a speech) was actually a disaster that everyone hated?

Has anyone ever laughed at the idea that you intend to be faithful to your (future) boo forever?

Even though 100% of people are rejected more than they're accepted, are you still slightly surprised when it happens?

Do people just assume you're good at sports, even if you're really a big nerd who hates all sports?

Do you feel kinda like you should have a super hot guy/gal for your arm?

Have you ever had any cosmetic surgery?

Do you feel comfortable naked with the lights on?

What reaction do people typically give when they look at you naked for the first time?

Have you ever spotted yourself on some blog or Instagram that's just creepy pictures of cute guys around the city you live in?

Do you find the standard sizes in men's clothing fit you (or if they don't, that the issue is primarily your height)?

How tall are you, roughly?

Do people sometimes assume you're a total prick when you're actually a softie inside?

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