Sure, you may be able to recognize many of the vintage items that are around, but their slogans are a different story. Product slogans are nothing new. From newspaper and radio ads all the way to television advertising, product slogans have given us the earworms that we have hated (or secretly loved) for generations. However, these earworms just mean that the product slogans are effective. Whether they rhyme or just emphasize parts of words that normally aren't emphasized, product slogans are excellent marketing tools to remind consumers of what they're buying and what they need to buy. Each product slogan was designed to get stuck in your head forever ... well after the product doesn't even exist anymore. If some lines were stuck in your head before, just wait until you take this quiz.
Even if you think you can name every vintage product on the market, you may have forgotten some of the less memorable slogans that were used to advertise them. That's why we've created a quiz that is full of slogans, and if you can name each product, you are a vintage-obsessed lover of all media, for sure.
So go on, test your skills. Let's see if you can name these vintage products from their slogans.
Sara Lee danishes weren't just delicious, they were Sara-licious ... which is better, of course, because there is more sugar. These little bites were marketed to both children and adults as a wonderful snack.
Scope is a product that is still around today, but the old school, high-alcohol-content green machine was all about telling you that you could get any girl you wanted if you just washed your mouth.
Chills & Thrills was a freezable soda concentrate from the sixties. You'd pour it into a cup and add water. It would fizz just like a root beer float, but it came in different flavors. It was more of a fizzy sorbet, but it was marketed as a drink.
Clorox 2 boasted the same stain-killing power as bleach, but without making your clothes fade. Their super-secret formula protected your clothes while it cleaned them. While this product is still around, it doesn't have the same slogan anymore.
In the 1970s, Zest soap wasn't considered soap (at least, not in the commercials). The advertisements told people that soap leaves a residue, but Zest would rinse your body clean ... and make your husband happy.
Before Sugar Bear, Sugar Smacks had a creepy clown on their box, and some big stars represented the brand. This cereal wasn't just marketed to children; its high-sugar content gave adults energy as well.
Before the great song that spelled out the name of the product, Oscar Mayer was all about appealing to parents by showing the ingredients that were in their meats and promising that their bologna would make a great sandwich.
This toy looked like a triceratops mixed with a stegosaurus and a large bug. It was incredibly loud, but it was pretty innovative for its time. It had six moving legs and a spiny tail, but it was most innovative for its controller.
"Down down down the stomach through, round round round the system too" was how Speedy's song started in the 1960s, and it just got more catchy from there. At the end of every commercial, the creepy mascot Speedy would wink at you, so you know it works.
Minute Maid has been around for quite some time, and they wanted to show people how important your vitamins and minerals are, first thing in the morning. That is why it's so important to get your first taste of the day from Minute Maid.
"Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't ... Almond Joy's got nuts, Mounds don't." This was a great way to show people that they had a choice in their candy bars if they needed a chocolate fix. Both of these bars have coconut centers.
When they said that Tootsie Roll Pops were triple good, they included the Tootsie Roll inside, the candy outside, and the fact that Tootsie Roll Pops are so much fun to eat. Can you guess which of these things is not like the other?
In the 1970s, Increda Bubble was the bubble that popped inside your mouth. "The tiny little pieces [went] flippity flop" were a few more lyrics to the excellent song from the commercial.
We don't see a lot of advertisements for bowling balls these days, but in the 1970s, AMF bowling balls could take down thirty pins at a time (if you'd believe the several cuts that were in the commercial).
Tang loved the fact that the astronauts took their drink powder to the moon. It wasn't delicious, but if you drank it, you could go to space. That's why their slogan was "Have a blast. Have some Tang," because you could blast off after drinking it.
After Kentucky Fried Chicken decided that the Colonel needed to be replaced with something else, they decided to focus less on the secret blend of herbs and spices, and more on how good their chicken tasted. They've also since shortened their name to KFC.
Playtex Bra commercials liked to show their bras, but no one was wearing them. While things are far different these days, like all commercials for women's products, the women are super happy to talk about Playtex Bras.
Soft & Dri really thought that women only sweat when they were nervous. While this is one reason we sweat, there are other reasons as well ... you know, like working and stuff. Soft & Dri did have another selling point: it didn't hurt women after they shaved. That was nice of them.
Who could forget that adorable cooking class instructor talking to all of her butter-loving pupils? She reminded us that Log Cabin Buttered Syrup was made with 2% real butter to give the syrup more flavor.
"I've got a headache this big, and it's got Excedrin written all over it" was a very of-the-times way of saying that you were about to pump yourself full of headache pills in the 1980s. It boasted that it was the most medicine you could buy without a prescription.
U.S. Savings Bonds were a great way to save money in an insured way. You could enroll in a payroll savings plan that would help you save up for the vacation or car that you were looking for.
In case you didn't want the calories but you were still looking for flavor, it was all about Diet Coke. This was the slogan for DC in the 1980s and early '90s, back when artificial flavors hadn't yet reached their full potential and diet drinks were pretty disgusting.
Lee denim jeans were all about how they fit on you. They boasted that their jeans fit better than any of their competitors', while you were doing everyday activities as well as hard work.
Kellogg's Crispix is a crunchy cereal that is made from corn and rice. Though the brand claims it could only come from Kellogg's, there have been plenty of knock-off versions available as well.
The Minolta XG7 boasted excellent photo quality, and it was ahead of its time as well. In the '70s this camera had an autowinder to help you advance your film, and you could change the lenses quickly.
Jolly Time Popcorn was all about getting the family together to have fun. The "guaranteed to pop" promise was right on the package for decades.
Jell-O has been around for quite some time, and gelatin products have been around even longer. One of the major selling points for Jell-O in the early days was that it was so easy to make, and all you had to do was follow the instructions on the back.
RC actually stands for Royal Crown. This cola was very sweet and claimed to be the best tasting cola available on the market. It was fine until it hit room temperature ... at which point, it was more like battery acid.
Love's Baby Soft commercials let every young woman know that they should wear Love's "because innocence is sexier than you think." They also suggested that every parent should buy the product for their daughter "because she's still your baby after all."
You'd think they'd be able to come up with a less laboratory-testing-number name for a product that they're marketing to adults. That's probably why this product didn't last very long.
In the 1970s, French's Mustard was all about the fun. Sandwiches were terrified if someone tried to garnish them with a different brand of mustard, in fact. "Be good to your food," people!
Spoiler Alert: Intellivision Baseball didn't look anything like real baseball, but at least the rules were the same. Intellivision was a video game that had graphics similar to Atari, so you can imagine how close to the real thing this game actually was.
StarKist Tuna is still around today, but reminding people that they were murdering the cute cartoon mascot and his friends eventually became a bad advertising idea. You can, however, still see Charlie hanging out on the can.
Okay, maybe we were a little harsh in saying they destroyed the English language. Perhaps Renuzit simply tortured it a little. However, advertising takes a lot of artistic license for slogans sometimes.
The Morton Salt Company loved their slogan so much that they even put a little girl with an umbrella on each of their containers of salt. That little girl is happy to be walking in the rain, and she made a household name for herself.