Brits: Do You Need a Cuppa, a Pint, a Coffee or a Heart Attack on a Plate?

Zoe Samuel

Image: Peter Dazeley/Photodisc/Getty Images

About This Quiz

No matter what problem you face in your life, if you’re British or have a British friend, you’ll have noticed that the standard British response is to assume that the cure surely lies in a nice cup of tea. After all, in the damp British climate, it’s almost never too hot, too cold or too humid to be really quite comforting. Sometimes, you’ll even have one when absolutely nothing is wrong, just because you like giving your insides a little hug.

However, some issues are more serious, and these require the application of more dramatic methods. If you’re very lonely and you need to be around your friends, then a pint is the glue that will bind you all together. If you’re simply out of steam, but you can’t afford to stop, then what you need is undoubtedly coffee. If the issue is truly dire and the only way forward is to stop altogether and indulge in a little comfort food while you take your mind off it entirely, you need to get yourself “down the caff” and enjoy a “full English” — even if it isn’t breakfast time! Sometimes, you just need the traditional “heart attack on a plate.”

What do you need to make your day go better? Let’s find out!

Do you generally find your work fulfilling?

How much attention are you paying to the current state of British politics?

Do you feel pretty good about your health?

How many people currently depend on you for the roof over their head?

Have you been watching the football?

Are you able to switch off in the evening and actually relax?

Brits curse a lot more than Americans. How many swearwords would you estimate come out of your mouth in a normal day?

How would you describe your usual commute?

If we asked you to list all the things in your house that are currently broken or in need of attention, how long would it take?

What sort of pet do you have?

How well do you get on with your neighbors?

If your best mate called and said, "I need you to bring £1,000 in cash to the alley behind the pub, and I can't tell you why," how fast could you get the money together?

How often do you burn the candle at both ends?

Are you currently doing any sort of class or hobby that is entirely for fun (i.e. not work training)?

When was the last time you went for a walk in the park or woods?

What sort of building do you live in?

When was the last time you took a vacation?

How many weeks this year have you worked more than 70 hours, including childcare and eldercare?

Do you cook for yourself most nights?

However much sleep you do (or don't) get, how much of it is good quality?

Do you and your boo have regular time to hang out, just the two of you?

What gives you the most hope for the future?

How do you typically get around your local town or village?

Do you volunteer for any charitable groups?

What's the main way that you stay in touch with your best friends?

Besides relatives, how many people could you call at 3 a.m. in a panic and wake them up, and they wouldn't be mad?

What happens if you sleep through your alarm?

Bilbo Baggins said, "I feel like butter scraped across too much bread." How does that make you feel?

If you won £1,000,000, what would you do first?

What is your favorite guilty pleasure?

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