Can We Guess Your Favorite Football Team?

By: Mark Lichtenstein
Estimated Completion Time
5 min
Can We Guess Your Favorite Football Team?
Image: WikiCommons

About This Quiz

In all professional sports, there is nothing more rabid than a football fan. Maybe it is because the regular season only consists of 16 games. Or perhaps it is because of the ritual of kicking back and watching on a Sunday afternoon whether you are alone or with some buddies. Or maybe it is because NFL football is just ridiculously cool, but so many of us watch our favorite team play pretty much every week.

But what is your favorite team? Of course you probably just root for the team closest to you, but that isn't the way it always goes. You could be someone who grew up in the heart of Patriots country, and root for the Bears. How insane would that be?

But speaking of the Patriots, they have been so good they now have tons of fans all over the world, just like other great teams like the Dallas Cowboys or the New York Giants. And speaking of the Giants, if you live in New York, do you follow the Giants or the Jets, or maybe you even have a thing for the Buffalo Bills? So many teams, so many questions. Take this quiz, and we will see if we can guess who your favorite team is.

What is the point of playing a sport?
The only reason is to win.
Camaraderie.
The joy of competition.
Uplifting the fans.

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What is the virtue nurtured by playing a sport?
Strength.
Humility.
Teamwork.
Determination.

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What is best about American football?
The pomp and circumstance.
The traditions.
The continuity between generations.
The onfield heroism.

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Who is the greatest quarterback of all time?
Tom Brady.
Joe Namath.
Connor Shaw.
Archie Manning.

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Which war strategist do you admire the most?
Sun Tzu.
Colonel Sanders.
Stalin.
Yagyu Munenori.

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What part of the country are you from?
The Northeast.
The Mid-Atlantic.
The Deep South.
The Southwest.

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Do you mind being the bad guy?
Not at all.
I wouldn't mind a shot at it.
Everyone wants to be the villain.
No, I want to be one of the good guys.

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How do you define an underdog?
They're losers.
They're beloved but unlucky.
They're a dog that's still in the race, but short of winning.
They're champions fighting for the underserved.

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Do you root for the underdog?
No way!
There's no greater underdog than my team!
My team is a classic underdog.
My team isn't weak by any means, but given its fanbase, it meets all the criteria.

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How do you feel if your team just barely loses?
I'm furious.
I'm joyous.
I steel myself for the next game.
I'm disappointed.

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How do you feel when your team gets totally blown out?
I'm beside myself with rage.
I feel like all is right in the world.
I feel shocked.
I feel upset with the coach but not the team.

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How do you feel when your team is way behind when halftime is called?
I feel like we can still win
I feel like this is only the beginning.
I feel like we're bound for more punishment.
I feel like the offense needs to step up.

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How do you feel when your team manages to win by one point?
I feel like they should have won by ten touchdowns.
I feel like the other team's defense must be injured.
I feel like the defense did its job.
I feel like the team's defense has work to do.

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How do you feel when your team wins by a huge blowout?
I feel like all is right in the universe.
I feel disoriented.
I feel joy, unmitigated joy.
I feel like we can do anything.

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How would your fandom react if your team won the championship?
We'd burn some cars like we usually do.
We'd probably die of a heart attack.
More cars would honk, and engines would roar than at any time in history.
We'd all get plastered.

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How do fans of other teams view you?
They think I'm a monster.
With pity.
They think I'm cagey.
They think I'm dreaming.

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How do you view the New York Giants?
They're losers.
They're bastards.
They're squanderers of talent.
They're a mess.

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How many Super Bowl rings does your team have?
Five.
Only one won a long, long time ago.
My team doesn't have any Super Bowl rings.
One won not too long ago.

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How many MVPs does your team have?
Five. Count 'em!
One but he got it three times.
None.
Just one.

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What brand beer do you like to drink at games?
Samuel Adams.
Brooklyn Lager.
Coors.
Abita.

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What do you bring to a tailgate?
Brats.
Burgers.
A sack from Chick-Fil-A.
Shrimp gumbo.

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How much do you have to bundle up for home games?
I have to wear a lot of layers.
I have to put on a heavy jacket and a balaclava.
I strip down to just pants and a shirt.
I can go in shorts if I want.

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Does your team's local fanbase have a baseball team worth rooting for?
Yes, they're pretty good.
A couple, one's okay, and the other is almost always in the playoffs.
We've got one nearby, and they can hold their own some years.
We have nothing close.

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If you had to root for a European soccer team, which one would it be?
Liverpool F.C.
Tottenham Hotspur F.C.
Real Madrid C.F.
Manchester City F.C.

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Assuming you don't root for the baseball team corresponding to your football team's hometown, which baseball team do you root for?
The Texas Rangers.
The San Diego Padres.
The Seattle Mariners.
The Washington Nationals.

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Did you ever play football growing up?
No! I'm delicate.
A bit, but I got into other sports.
I played a lot when I was growing up.
I played when I was little, but that was all.

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If your team lost three seasons in a row, would you change your allegiance?
Yes! To Hell with those losers!
It hasn't stopped me so far.
If their stats went downhill, I'd consider it.
If the front office didn't adjust, I wouldn't forgive them.

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If your team became the perennial champions, would that change your view of them?
It wouldn't change anything.
I might have to stop rooting for them.
They would certainly be a different team.
I would see them as the best version of what I already see.

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What are the odds they'll blow it this year?
Slim to none!
Blow what? You mean they might actually win a game?
If their defense cracks, I'll be amazed.
If their offense doesn't have it, I'll crack.

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Does your team have any famous players who are bad people?
Okay, maybe we've had a few bad apples.
Not really bad people, but plenty of bad players.
No one on my team is famous enough to be scrutinized to that extent.
Yes, we have one, but he has a very silly name.

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You Got: